BAH HUMBUG!!! It's that time of year to be selfish!

That's right, I said it "Bah humbug!"  But I don't really mean it like that.  I was just trying to get your attention ... and now that I have it ... let's be selfish together!

It's like this ... you are running around for the last month (maybe week, if you are like me) shopping and stressing over what to get and what to do for everyone else.  What about you?  Is it okay to be selfish this time of year?  YES, of course!

You may want to at least get through Christmas Day, otherwise kids and family will surely think the Grinch stole your Christmas Spirit.  But you do have a whole week of recovery between Christmas and New Year's to reflect upon your 2016.  It doesn't matter whether you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Agnostic, Atheist or Martian ... you still have a whole week to dedicate to yourself and reflect on 2016.  As well as, plan your 2017!

Take a day to look back on 2016 and reflect on all of the things that you did, the places you've gone, the relationships that you've nurtured, your successes, your failures -- you will be overwhelmed!  Capture these things, write them down and appreciate the year that you have had!

Then take several days to plan your 2017!  Several days?  Yes, several days!  You can't just get right up to the ball dropping on New Year's Eve and resolve to "lose ten pounds".  Yes you have to goals and your goals have to have real meaning to you; AND you also need to have a plan!  This stuff takes time you know!  If you just whimsically pick a goal out of thin air because everyone else in your "circle" is picking that same goal then there is a good chance that come January 2nd (3rd or 4th) ... you have already forgotten about your New Year's resolution and so has the rest of your circle.  There you sit, holding a lifetime gym membership in one hand and your smartphone in the other, waiting for the guy on the other end to stop laughing about your cancellation question.

2017 will be your year ... but you have to own it!  That means giving 2017 the time and attention that it deserves.  That means creating your year and not just waiting to see how things unfold.  That means making a list of "day trips" today.  That means making plans for weekend getaways today!  That means planning your summer vacation today! That means registering for those Half-Marathons today! (I threw that one in for my beautiful wife Lori).  Make a list of books to read - one each month? One each week?  Include something by: Jim Rohn, Dave Ramsey, Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Richard Branson, George Orwell, Hemingway?  Make your lists, set your due dates, find someone that you know will hold you accountable.

2017 shouldn't be an accident.  2017 shouldn't just happen to you.  You don't need to "wait and see what unfolds in 2017".  You do need to invest the time and energy that 2017 deserves (that you deserve)  if you want it to be a great year, perhaps even your best year ever!

Create a great plan and you will have a great year!  Trust your plan!  Your plan will get derailed throughout the year, count on it.  There will be work interruptions, kids will get sick, dates and destinations may change ... but when December 2017 comes to a close and you go through this process again you will be saying to yourself "what an awesome year 2017 was!  Now let's make 2018 even better!"

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year's; safe travels and love to all!

Feeling motivated?

Feeling motivated?  Me neither!

Feeling overwhelmed is more like it.  We are over the hump (Election Day), Thanksgiving is coming up fast, then Christmas (Started your shopping yet? Me neither.), then New Year's! Soon enough the question that comes to mind will be "where did this year go?"

That is a great and serious question!  I have trouble remembering where the week went, let alone the year!  A whole year is a big deal, you should ponder it and spend some time remembering 2016!  Maybe even a few days to reflect on it and plan for 2017.  Yes, really, a few days!

I remember hearing the great Jim Rohn (his recollection of a bible verse) saying "go into your closet."  Meaning step away, find someplace quiet, with no distraction, no smart phone, no dumb phone, no television.  Break away from the "real world" and focus on yourself, what you've accomplished, what you didn't get to, but thought was important.  Celebrate your accomplishments, reiterate what is important to you, create goals for 2017, create a plan for 2017, create a timeline for your 2017 plan!

What better way to get motivated than spending some time patting yourself on the back for your accomplishments and reminding yourself of what YOU want to accomplish/what's IMPORTANT to YOU (this is the all important WHY!)

Reflecting on your week may only take a few minutes, your month a few hours ... but reflecting on something as monumental as your year deserves a few days!  Sure, you could wait until January 1, 2017 ... but you don't have to.  Your new year can begin today!

Have a blessed day!

New President, New Day ... same me?

I dreamed that I woke up on Wednesday morning November 9th, 2016 and everything in my life was exactly the same!

This couldn't be possible.  After months of listening to two campaigns, which of course were polar opposites, but promised the same things ... my life was the same.  New president, new day ... same me?

All the votes were cast, the campaigns were over, the electoral college did their thing and finalized the will of the people ... yet everything was the same.  I couldn't believe it, I was dumbfounded!

Then I had another dream ... I dreamed that it was one year after inauguration and my life was still the same!

As it turns out, it wasn't a dream it was reality.  You can put your belief in Clinton or in Trump or in any other candidate or leader.  But if you want real change, real progress, real improvement in your life you need to put your belief in yourself.  Otherwise, one year from today you will be the same person.  Which doesn't make you a bad person, but don't you want to grow and get better?

Yes, others can help you get ahead.  They can provide direction, inspiration, training, education, motivation, wisdom.  But as the old saying goes "if it's to be, it's up to me!"  So believe in yourself, imagine a better life, dream big and then make it happen!

Have a great day!

Where am I and how did I get here?

By this point in your life if you haven't asked yourself "where am I and how did I get here?" ... you probably should!

For most of us, where we are today isn't the result of a conscious decision twenty years ago.  For example, declaring that you "want to be the world's greatest sports writer!"  And then taking methodical steps to achieve your goal.  Truthfully, that would be the ideal situation.  And some people are able to do that.

But let's be real ... most of us don't realize what that one thing, what that one passion is that is burning inside of us.  Most of us have many interests.  It just that either one doesn't stand out or we decide to hedge our bets; we pursue a few, or many interests.  We dilute our passion and eventually what evolves is:

• A career 
• A lifestyle choice
• Poor nutrition - high cholesterol
• Poor physical health
• Lacking spirituality
• Too few zeroes in your bank account
• (add your own item here) 

And when you ask the question "where am I and how did I get here?"  you need only look in the mirror.  The reason you are who you are ... the reason you are where you are is because of the guy or girl in the mirror.  Still being honest, we would love to blame others (I have), but it is the guy or girl in the mirror who made the choices that got us to this point today.  It's also the guy or girl in the mirror that will make the choices that get you to where you are going to be in twenty years.

If you want to be a different person in five, ten or twenty years it's up to you!  Even if you still aren't sure who or what you want to be, but you know aren't happy with who/what you are today just start heading in the opposite direction.  You can seek the help/guidance/ideas/knowledge along the way that you need to become someone that you aren't today!  There are many resources available to you (some for FREE) so you have no excuse.  Start your quest today!

Good luck and God Bless!

So you gave 110% ... now what?

You have a difficult task or project in front of you and you had to give 110% to get it done and not let any of your other responsibilities slip through the cracks.  And you know what you did it, but now what?


Theoretically you can't ever give more than 100% of what you are capable of.  But you've just proven to yourself and the world around you that you can do more than you thought you could ... or at least more than what you usually do!


Let's say you give 110% again for a few days/weeks ... that becomes your new norm!  Your 110% now becomes your 100%! You've proven you can do it and even worse ... now people are expecting it from you!


Keep it up and after a few years of always giving a 110% and creating new levels of 100% (a.k.a. what you are capable of) and you are producing 200% or 300% ... or 500% of what you use to produce!


BE CAREFUL!  The converse is true too.  If you usually give 100%, but you decide that you are going to ease up a bit and only give 90% for a few days then that becomes your new 100%.  Do this for a few years and you never have to worry about anyone expecting anything from you but your ability to breathe and eat.  Surely you don't want people thinking that you are only capable of breathing and eating ... do you?


Start giving 110% today.  Start growing, start improving, start impressing others.  You will be amazed at what you can achieve!


Have a great day!

YOU ARE NEVER READY! OR ARE YOU?

If there was one thing that moving day taught me it was that "you are never ready!"  But that's okay, no one ever is!

Regardless of the time and effort that you put into the event "you are never ready!"  You spend hours on 'experts' blogs; you comb through books and magazines articles; you talk to friends, colleagues, mentors.  But you are still not ready.

You've run through all of the possible scenarios (that you could think of) and planned for every potential roadblock (read catastrophe) ... but you aren't ready!  Or are you?

No matter how much research you put into planning, no matter how many experts you seek guidance from, no matter how many contingency plans you have ...there will always be a scenario that you couldn't have possibly foreseen!

What do you do?  YOU GO ANYWAY!  YOU PULL THE TRIGGER!  YOU LAUNCH!  YOU HAVE TO!

Everyone's expertise is based on their experience, what they've learned from other's experiences and what they've read in 'history' books (magazines, blogs, websites, real books).  No one can predict with certainty the future 100% of the time.  So once you have put in a substantial amount of effort and the timing "feels right" you launch, you go, you pull the trigger!

After recently getting married to my gorgeous wife, we consolidated two homes into one.  The events were about three weeks apart.  We researched and planned for the first event, we learned from it, we corrected our plans for the second event.  While it all went pretty smoothly there were still hiccups.  We were very blessed, there weren't any catastrophes, but there were hiccups.  It's going to happen.

So pull the trigger ... do your research/due diligence ... but pull the trigger!

You are capable of more than you thought!

About six months ago my girlfriend Lori (now my beautiful wife, Lori Willson Hermenau) dragged me to The Track Shack to buy me some running shoes.  I have no idea why she had it in her head that I would need (or want) running shoes ... but apparently she thought that I did.  Perhaps she saw me as a challenge, as she already knew that I had a predisposition against running.  Don't all women think they can change their man? (I type in jest ... I swear!)

So, I had shared with Lori that I didn't like running, but I enjoy brisk walks and that I wanted to be healthier so that I could enjoy a long life with her and future grandchildren.  From that point Lori developed a plan, whether it was conscious or subconscious she'll never admit, but there was definitely a plan taking form.  We've never discussed it (so this blog entry might surprise her), but in looking back over the last six months she has magically and methodically put a plan into action for me:

• Step 1: Buy Running Shoes
• Step 2: Buy Garmin Band to track steps
• Step 3: Get Warren to commit to a long term goal (Half-Marathon in December 2017)
• Step 4: Introduce Warren to Jeff Galloway for inspiration and the Run-Walk-Run method
• Step 5: Sign both of us up for milestone runs along our way to 21K (13.1 miles didn't rhyme)

I am truly grateful to Lori and I know that left to my own will I would still be walking about three or four times a week and just three miles.  Which would be better than nothing, but I wouldn't be growing.  Now, Lori has (consciously this time) discussed a training plan for the half marathon we are doing in December.   Since "Shoe Day", Lori has helped me accomplish several milestones:  we have Run-Walked several 5K's, a 10K on the beach and we Run-Walk on a regular basis.  I have moved from running for 7 seconds and walking for 23 seconds to running and walking for 30 seconds each.  By half marathon day I am sure that I (with Lori's encouragement) will be up to 2 minutes (or more) of running and 30 seconds of walking.

Which brings me to the blog entry title "You are capable of more than you thought!"  I thought (or believed) that I didn't like running, although I never really tried it.  But in hindsight I believe I was more worried about the things that runner's talk about and whether or not I would ever be able to achieve any of those "things"?
          Exaggerated examples:
              "I ran a 2 min pace on my 50 mile run this morning ... 
          I feel great, maybe I'll run another 100 at lunch?"
             "I never eat, all I do is juice and run, sometimes I'll go weeks 
         where I don't even sleep because my 'runner's high' carries me.
         I feel so productive!" 

I can now admit to myself (and to you) that I honestly didn't think that I was capable of "running".  I may have been a little worried about fitting in with other runners, but the truth was I wasn't sure that I could run down the street, let alone around the block!  It was my limiting belief (mental attitude) about my physical capabilities that kept me from running.  Today, it's as much (or more) my limiting belief (mental attitude) as it is my physical ability that is keeping me from running 2 minutes and walking for 30 seconds starting tomorrow!  But I know now that by adding a few seconds to the running portion every run I will conquer my limiting belief.

What dreams or goals have you not pursued because you have a limiting belief?  Why not start like me taking (literally) a few steps in the direction that you want to go in?  As Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."  Believe you can!  What if you are already succeeded, what's next?  Well if you think that you've done all that you can ask yourself ... what if I move my goal 1% higher, or lowered my lap time by 1%, or gave 1% more of my time?  Just because you hit your goal, that doesn't mean that's all you have to give; or all you have to achieve. 

Have a great day!

Target shooting

Zig Ziglar said "How can you hit a target that you can't see?  Even worse, how can you hit a target that you don't even have?"

I use to hate to-do lists and completely despised long term objective setting.  I'm not sure if I thought it was a hassle ... or if I thought they were a waste of time ... or if I just didn't want to be held accountable (even if they were my own goals!).

Then one day while listening to Zig Ziglar  (for the umpteenth time) it finally clicked!  He was talking about a study from 1953 conducted on Yale graduates over a twenty year span.  He stated that about five percent (5%) of those grads had clear, specific goals and had a higher rate of achievement.  Furthermore, he said that about three percent (3%) of those grads had actually written down their clear, specific goals and made plans to achieve them.  It turned out that this three percent had accumulated more wealth and success than the ninety-seven percent (97%) who hadn't written their goals down!

Before writing this entry I was compelled to do a quick web search to confirm the above.  I couldn't find oft cited Yale study.  Rather, I found lots of authors and speakers quoting the same study and quoting Ziglar; and I also found an article doubting the study ever occurred at all.  No matter, I have seen the results in my own life and know (at least for me) writing down my clear, well defined goals has amazing results.  It seems to me that when your goals are written down and you outline the steps to achieve them you no longer have just goals or dreams ... you also have a plan!  And having a plan is a major part of achieving your goals.  If you don't have a plan for yourself then you will be a victim to others' plans for you.  If you have a plan you can be a victor.  You get to choose, you can be a victor or a victim!

Many claim not to know where and when to start.  I think that is just an excuse.  When to start is easy ... start now!  Where to start isn't much harder ... just work backwards from where you want to be in five years until you get to where you are today.  That is where you start!

I think that bigger problem is that you are lacking confidence.  You need to get you some!  Start small, don't start with giant targets or goals.  Sometimes our goals can be so lofty and impossible looking that we get discouraged by the goal itself! 

If your goal is to be a millionaire and your current situation (income, debts and career path) don't lend themselves to becoming a millionaire then you need to change your focus.  You know it's not an impossible goal, since the world has many millionaires and billionaires in it!  In your case, by working backwards you will see that the level before "Millionaire" is "Thousand-aire."  Maybe you are already a "Thousand-aire" and you don't have much farther to go?  If not, the level below "Thousand-aire" is "Hundred-aire"  The level below that is "Zero-aire" ... and nowadays you can even be negative, you might be a "Negative-aire!".  If you are starting here then your first goal should be to get to zero!  Your five or ten year goal may and should still be to become a millionaire, but perhaps your one year goal needs to be getting to zero?  Define and write down the steps that you need to take to get to zero and act on them!  Once you get here you will be amazed at how easy it will be for you to get to your next level!

Have a great day!

Don't get too comfortable!

Don't get too comfortable or you run the risk of missing your goals, losing your dreams, falling behind, or worse, going backwards!

What happens to me when I am in the middle of yard work on a hot Saturday morning and I decide to take a break?  That depends on what kind of break I take!

Picture a ninety-five degree Saturday morning in central Florida.  The humidity is about one hundred percent, give or take a percentage point.  I've probably already mowed the lawn and still need to edge it, blow the clippings into a pile and put them in a garbage bag.  Let's say I'm about halfway done.  I want to (I need to!) take a little break and cool off, otherwise I will melt.  Let's take a look at three of my options:

1. Go to the outdoor fridge, grab a water or Gatorade, drink it down and go back to work
2. Go to the outdoor fridge, grab a water or Gatorade, drink it down while sitting in a chair in the shade
3. Go inside, grab a water or Gatorade and sit down in the A/C to cool off

Option #3 is a great choice ... assuming that I don't want to finish the yard work.  What is likely to happen is I will realize how hot it really is outside and I'll wait for the cover of darkness (I wouldn't want the neighbors seeing me be lazy) to go pick up my lawn implements.  Stowing them away until next week. 

Option #2 sounds like a pretty good and reasonable choice.  But let's be honest, I'm going to plop down in the shade and if I get up before it gets dark it will only be to get a beer.

Option #1 (at least in my case) is my best choice and takes the least amount of time.  If you are like me, when you get too comfortable with your situation you don't want to leave your situation.

And I am not just talking about yard work.  Remember all of those hopes and dreams that you had when you were younger.  You know like the one that had you where you were going to become the world's first firefighting-doctor-astronaut on his way to Mars, who could also sing better than Frank Sinatra!  Yeah, we've all had similar goals.  But then one day we realized how much work it would be to achieve that goal, how much we would have to sacrifice, how UNCOMFORTABLE we would have to be for a few years and we decided maybe things are okay the way they are. 

Don't let go of a dream because you are comfortable in your current situation.  It's okay to change your goals/dreams.  You should be chasing what you are passionate about.  Find that passion and go after, don't settle for being comfortable where you are at.

As Jim Rohn said "Rest very little!"  Surely, you will need to rest along the way.  You'll need to re-energize your mind, your body and refocus your efforts.  But get too comfortable, don't sit down in the shade for too long and definitely don't go inside where the A/C is at or you'll never accomplish your goal!

Have a great day!

It's amazing what you ...

It's amazing what you ... can accomplish when you don't have a choice!

Around 8:30 this morning I was thinking about how much I had to do today; or how much "burden" I had.  I started to feel bad for myself and wallow (gasp!)

Then I realized how much I had already accomplished by this hour of the day because I didn't have a choice.  They were just the things that were part of my routine or items that were injected into my day by outside forces ... meaning I didn't have a choice!  This is when I became more confident in my ability to get everything done (well most everything)!  I took a minute and thought about what I had done having been up for about three hours:

• showered
• shaved
• made bed
• did some work "work"
• made an unplanned trip to the high school
• talked to my dad
• talked to my fiance
• got interrupted while on the phone by my dad calling again, so talked to dad again
• called the fiance back
• made German Pancake batter
• ate breakfast
• made breakfast for my youngest
• cleaned the kitchen
• went back to my work "work"
• and now ... I'm blogging

And shortly before writing this entry, I realized ... It's even more amazing what you can accomplish when you have goals/dreams and a plan (with margin built in for those things that might get "injected" into your day).  The rest of my day is planned out, I don't feel quite as overwhelmed (thought there is a lot to do still) and I can't wait to look back on today and count my accomplishments!

Have a great day!

Pull the trigger!

I've often times heard people (read "myself") criticizing others for shooting from the hip.  At least that is how it appeared.  As though they spent zero time thinking through a decision and just reacted.

It's one thing if you are in Target with your shopping list and see a deal on something that you just know you'll use (ex. consumables like deodorant, toilet paper, etc).  And it's quite another if you are in Target and you are pulled in by the display of rechargeable, extendable Swiffer ceiling fan sweeper display.  The colors are so vivid, the price is within budget (did you have a Swiffer budget?), the extension is up to 10 feet ... it goes in your cart.  Not a well thought out purchase?  Perhaps.  Especially when you get home and realize you don't have any ceiling fans.  Shooting from the hip, yes.

Please don't shoot from the hip ... but please be able to, as well as, know when to pull the trigger.

I have suffered all my life from not being able to pull the trigger.  Yes, I like most have made impulse purchases.  How else would a 500 piece bucket of Bazooka bubble gum end up in my cart at Costco?  But when it came to buying a new mower or dishwasher, two things I knew I needed, I suffered from analysis paralysis for about two years!

In looking back, I'm pretty sure that I was only looking at how much the items were going to cost and not fully considering the benefits.  Of course, I also didn't want to be separated from my money.  When I finally bought the new lawn mower I realized that it was saving me at least thirty minutes a week because I didn't have to keep stopping to fix the broken wheels!  Over the course of a year of mowing this has to be more than fifteen hours.  Assuming my time is worth something, let's say ten dollars an hour ... the savings in the first year was $150!  The mower (which I paid about $450 for at Lowe's) pays for itself in just three years!

And yes, I did finally buy a new dishwasher, but the benefits calculation was harder for me to quantify. Maybe I am saving on electricity, maybe the dishes are more sanitary, who really knows?  But I can say that I am now able to run the dishwasher, carry on a conversation and do other things in the kitchen at the same time.  Again, my time is money ... so I'm sure the dishwasher will pay for itself in just a few years.

What the heck is my point?  Opportunities can be lost!  Some opportunities do linger, but the "profit" potential from them fades.  Will the mower or dishwasher that I bought be less expensive in two years?  Yes.  But the savings in the meantime likely outweighs the extra cost.

So when opportunity knocks, at least, look through the peephole in your door before dismissing it.  And conversely, every knock on your door is not always an opportunity that you want to take advantage of, look through the peephole before you open the door.

Stop doing "it" right now!

I heard a quote on the radio the other day and it moved me.  The credit for the quote was given to Earl Nightingale (in a quick search I couldn't confirm it); I'll paraphrase it hear:

                     What are you willing to NOT do in order to hit your goals?

That is a very interesting concept.  This quote obviously comes from the last century (since Mr. Nightingale died in 1989) and it seems that there was never enough time in the day to do all that someone wished to do!  Our ancestors struggled so much with creating more time (increasing efficiencies ... a day is still just 24 hours) that they created washing machines, dryers, computers, tractors, then bigger tractors, fast cars, then faster cars!  They imagined a day when we would be able to do everything that we wanted to do without having to make sacrifices.

As it turns out, whether you lived in the early days of man or you are living in the next century ... you will always have to make choices when it comes to spending or investing your time.  There will still only be 24 hours in a day!  I use to think that you just had to do more of the right things to make your dreams and goals a reality.  I now realize that you can't just do more ... you have to do less of some things, you have to cut things out of your life to either make room for the activities that will help you achieve your goal.  Or you have to cut some activities out because they are pushing you in the opposite direction of your dreams!

So, what are you willing to give up for your dreams?  What are you willing to NOT do anymore?

• NOT Watch TV
• NOT Play video games (not just for kids)
• NOT spend hours on the computer posting to Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Etc.
• NOT wake up as late as possible, without being late for your current career
• NOT spend every weekend with your buddies bar hopping
• NOT spend every weekend chasing red tag sales at the mall

You may think you have no time to spare.  You may be constantly on the move and perhaps your the time that doesn't stop until your head hits the pillow.  But if you have dreams/goals and your aren't actively working towards them (or your progress is slow) ... then reflect on your life and decide to NOT do stuff!

Have a great day!

Raking Leaves

Yesterday I was outside raking the leaves from my live oak tree in my front yard.  As I was sweating my butt off in the eighty degree March heat of Florida a thought came into my head:

              "I love the shade, but I don't love raking the leaves."

I also don't love pruning the tree, as it is pretty tall, but the branches will hang low from their own weight.  But pruning I must do.  Unfortunately (or fortunately?) that's how life works though.  If you want to enjoy some of the finer things in life (like shade on a hot summer day), then you have to do the things that allow you to be in the position to enjoy those things.

Examples:

• Work hard, earn money, go on a nice vacation
• Work hard, earn money, buy a nice car (or truck)
• Work hard, earn money, buy a nice home

Yes, I could have not raked leaves and still had the benefit of the shade of my live oak tree when the leaves come back.  But if I don't rake up the leaves, then the grass under the tree will eventually suffocate.  Then what fun will sitting on dirt be under the shade of my oak?  

Besides life is not suppose to work that way!  You are not supposed to get a free ride.  You have to put effort into life in order to reap the rewards/benefits.  Surely you've heard the expression "reap what you sow."  If you don't sow anything ... what is there to reap?  And certainly if you sow corn seed you don't expect to reap oranges ... do you?

As I heard Les Brown say once "If you do what is easy, life will be hard.  But if you do what is hard, life will be easy."  So don't shy away from hard work today ... because tomorrow you can be sitting in the shade!

Kicking the Can Down the Road

You may have noticed that this is an election year!  And you've probably heard some of the typical political rhetoric including a few of the candidates talking about how all of those in office before them have been "kicking the can down the road"  with things such as:

• Healthcare
• Social Security
• Immigration
• National Debt
• Budget Reform
• Tax Reform

Apparently, when you are running for office your number one job is to criticize those in office for all of the things that they are putting off into the future for someone else to be accountable for.  In other words, "kicking the can down the road."

Whenever I hear that phrase I think of Opie Taylor from the Andy Griffith show, walking down a dirt road and kicking a  real, and rusty, tin can as far down the road as he can.  And then when he eventually gets to where the can stopped he, of course, kicks it again.  Sounds really cute and nostalgic, but in real life we are usually putting off something very important that should be handled/started today!

I'm not a politician and I don't play one on T.V.; but I have "kicked the can down the road" many times.  And yes, so have you!  It's okay, admit it.  No one is watching, you are in a safe place, I'm not criticizing you.  The first step is of course admitting it to yourself ... the second step is doing something about it.

Whether it is:

• Your health/fitness
• Your relationships
• Your bank account/retirement
• Your job status
• Your spiritual journey

Today is the day you stop kicking the can down the road.  You don't have to handle everything at once.  Just pick one important thing you have been putting off and focus on it.  Make it a priority. You can do it!  You will do it!

As Henry Kissinger is quoted as saying "whatever should happen ultimately, should happen immediately."

Have a great day!

Unringing the bell.

We've all done it, right?

You open your mouth and out comes a word that you know you shouldn't use.  It's a word or phrase that is  mean and hurtful and you said it on purpose.  Yes you meant to hurt another person because you were angry, mad, furious!  Maybe angry with them, maybe upset about the situation ... but it doesn't matter the reason, your raw emotion took control of your thinking brain and you spewed the evil word(s).

You may have heard the expression "you can't un-ring a bell".  While this is certainly true, you should definitely try to un-ring it.  You should apologize, several times if necessary and hope that the other party is willing to move on from the ugly incident.  People can be more understanding than we sometimes give them credit for ... and yes, like the first line questions we have all done it, right!

Maybe the bell you rang is deafening and the bass was so deep that it stings for many, many days. If your offended party values your history/relationship they will eventually forgive you.  Keep in mind though, they may never forget!  If you are a student of the bible look up the phrase "forgive and forget"; or don't bother, because it's not in there!

Which brings me to the following and more important lesson:

               "Think Before You Ring!"

Sure we all have it in our hearts to forgive someone once.  But twice or three times by the same person?  If you can forgive the same person that many times you are either their mother or just a much better person than me.  And if you "ring" one too many bells you will soon have a reputation and you will start every new relationship on the defensive because the word will certainly get out.  This is the year 2016 and everyone is tweeting, posting to Instagram & Facebook and dozens of other sites.  Think before you ring!

Protect your reputation/character, guard your words/actions!  Next to your health your reputation/character is the most important thing you have going for you.  Think before you ring!

How to catch a monkey and why it's important to you!

Years ago a friend of mine from Nepal told me a story about how to catch a monkey:

You cut the top off a coconut, you tie the coconut to a stake or a tree, you put some peanuts in the coconut and then you wait patiently.  When a hungry (and greedy) little monkey comes along it will reach its hand into the coconut,  it'll make a fist as it grabs the peanuts and then it will struggle to get free.  The silly, greedy, little monkey will keep his hand clenched for a while because he really wants the peanuts in the coconut ... giving you ample time to run up and grab the monkey.  I may not remember the story correctly, but I believe that once caught the monkey's name was changed to "dinner".

Are you like the monkey in the story?  Are you hanging onto something that is dangerous, worthless or useless ... but is keeping you from moving on in life?  Have you been hanging onto something or someone from your past in an unhealthy way.

Don't be like the monkey in the story.  You need to understand that many times letting go of something will allow you to move on, to survive ... even to thrive!  It may be a bad habit of yours, a flawed philosophy or an unhealthy relationship.  Understand that bad habits can be replaced with good habits; flawed philosophies can be replaced with proven ones; and, bad relationships can be replaced with healthy ones (there are seven billion people in the world ... it's time to move on!)

The silly, greedy, little monkey became dinner ... don't be like the monkey!

Have a great day!

The Best Advice EVER!

I've gotten a lot of advice through the years ... I usually didn't realize how great it was until days (sometimes years) later!

And the very best advice I've ever received was "Don't ever offer anyone advice unless they asked you for advice!" I can't recall where that advice came from , but wow ... can you imagine having to wait for someone to ask for your opinion or advice before you gave it to them?

Through the years I've found that this goes just about 100% against my nature.  I'm not saying that everything that comes out of my mouth is the best idea ever or is guaranteed to work.  It's just that I've got a curious mind and I'm always trying to solve ("fix") problems, things or people.

I've heard that (generically speaking) this is a very much a guy problem.  It seems women are naturally better at just being there and listening.  While I am trying harder, it's not easy to change old habits or your innate nature.  What I've finally come to realize though (as people complain about their circumstances to me) is that most just want to complain.  They may say that they are just "venting", but I feel that they are actually looking for pity.  Pity for them and pity for their circumstances.  And when you offer them unsolicited advice ... (gasp!) ... they are sometimes offended!  To many, having a possible solution means that they can no longer play the victim.  There are some people that just don't like you taking away their victim card.

In any case, for 2016:

• I will try (really, really hard) to be a good listener
• I will focus most of my advice on the guy in the mirror (sharing here for any/all that are interested)
• I will do my best to set healthy boundaries for my children
• I will strive to be a great example for everyone in my life
• And, I will lay in wait, with my ears wide open, listening for the words "I need your advice."  Or, "can I get your opinion on something?"

Have a great day!

Mentors and Inspirations

Do you have mentors and/or people who inspire you?  If you profiled them would they be younger, older, stronger, healthier?

Not to long ago I had to participate in an exercise at work where we had to pick three mentors and explain why.  Once everyone was done writing, several people were called on to share with the crowd who they picked and why.  Some of their mentors were actually in the crowd.  The "mentors" were humbly surprised.  I thought that was cool.

Then I noticed that some of the mentors were actually younger than the people that were learning/looking up to them.  Then I realized the mentors came from entirely different backgrounds, educations and professional paths than the people who selected them.

This changed my whole perspective on mentors and who I could find inspiration from.  Previously, I had thought that a mentor had to meet a certain age or life experience level.  Sixty? Seventy? Eighty?  Someone who has started 4, 5, 6 companies?

Now I look to different age groups and different walks of life to find my inspiration, guidance, mentoring ... and you should too!  For example, children are great at helping you increase your curiosity and creativeness.  Children never stop asking questions and their creativeness is boundless.  In their world pigs can fly and unicorns hide when adults are near.

If you want to increase your decisiveness look to someone who has flown experimental planes, served in combat or is a policeman/firefighter.  Have you ever been the first person to fly a plane that's never been off the ground before?  Many times things will go awry and you have to make a quick life saving decision.  Having to make life saving decisions daily will sharpen your abilities!

If you want to improve your health find someone who is in much better shape than you and study their habits (what they eat, how they exercise, etc).   I have a neighbor that is at least twenty years older than me and I think that he will outlive me.  He's in great health and never stops moving!

Whatever area of your life you are looking to improve you can find mentors and inspirations all around you.  And, you will find that they will be flattered and happy to help you in your pursuit!  Even if you never meet your mentor, look for biographies, books and magazine articles on them and you will likely gain the inspiration and direction that you need. More mentor ideas listed below.

Have a great day!

Want to be ... Mentor:
Actor         ... DiCaprio, Hanks, Nicholson
Actress      ... Johansson, Jolie, Lawrence, Berry
Athlete       ... Jordan, Woods, Manning, Brady, Federer, Dawes, Williams
Villain         ... The Joker, Mussolini, Hitler,Scarlett Overkill
Hero/Saint  ... Jesus, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela

How to begin?

How do you begin?

First, decide what you want.  Set a goal, right now and write it down.  It has to be something that you are PASSIONATE about.  The goal has to be something that you are willing to SACRIFICE OTHER THINGS FOR IT!  If you aren't willing to give up the three hour a day X-Box habit for your goal then your goal is either: not big enough to make you grow; or you don't really want it bad enough.  It's true that small goals can be the stepping stones towards bigger goals, but you will have to be willing to make sacrifices along the way to you ultimate goal.  Is it worth those sacrifices?  If a goal is so small and simple that pursuing it is as easy to you as breathing then it isn't a big enough goal!  And, I promise you that once you achieve your big goal and you look back at what you thought was a sacrifice today you will realize that it was really an investment (guaranteed or your money back)!

Second, cast away your fears!  Many people won't start their "thing" because they are afraid.  Afraid of the unknown, afraid of failure, afraid of what others will think, afraid of success (hard to believe, but the last one is very common). Cast those fears away!  Others are waiting for one brave soul (YOU!) to show them the way to overcome their fears; to show them it's okay to start; to show them that you don't have to have a highly detailed, completely thought out plan that took fifty years to develop before you start!

• In general, the world forgives and forgets your failures
• You will be remembered mainly for your success (Do you remember Thomas Edison's Electric Pen?  Or his 1,000 unsuccessful light bulbs?)
• So if you fail, it's no big deal ... try again or try something else for the first time

Third, set your deadline!  Deadlines add the pressure or urgency that you need to accomplish great things.  Imagine you are trapped in a sinking ship and the cabin you are in is filling up with water.  Your deadline is to get out of the room before you run out of air.  A pretty extreme and unlikely example ... but what if you had that kind of urgency with your goals?  Be ever aware of the deadline you set, don't let yourself down, this is likely the pressure that YOU need to keep YOURSELF focused on YOUR goal!

• Step 3B ... announce your goal to one or more accountability partners.  They don't need all the details ... but they can make sure that you continue to work towards your goal!  They also may be one of your resources in the fifth step

Fourth, create a road map, make your plan.

• You know you are starting at "A" (where you are standing today, with the skills and resources that you have accumulated)
• You want to get to "Z" (this is the goal you set above in step one)
• And, you know how much time you have (your deadline you set in step three minus today's date)

Aim, Fire ... Ready! (Yes, begin now! Don't be foolish ... but don't wait until you have everything figured out.  As my father-in-law told me "if you wait until you are ready, you'll never get married."  He later said "if you wait until you are ready, you'll never have kids.")

Fifth, this is really part of Step Four above but needed to be highlighted, so ... gather the knowledge that you need!  Along your path you will bump into walls and step on landmines.  Around marker "M" on the map or plan you laid out your plan requires that you set up a website.  You don't have to learn html code by "M", you just need someone at that step that can get it done so you can move to "N".  Gather the knowledge you need and/or recruit the expert assistance.  There are NOT many things in life that you can do without help; as my dad always says "no man is an island"!  The important thing is that you stay passionate.

Sixth, re-assess and if necessary update steps one through four.  There is no shame in changing directions (goals).  If you get part way down the road to your goal and realize you leaned your ladder against the wrong building, don't be afraid to climb down and move your ladder.  But keep in mind what Zig Ziglar said (paraphrasing) 'it's hard to hit a goal you can't see, it's impossible to hit a goal you don't have!'

Have a great day!

Where do you begin?

You begin in the only place that you can begin -- RIGHT HERE!

I read a quote a while ago that I found truly inspirational and enlightening:
            "Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go;
             they merely determine where you start.” – Nido Qubein

Your only choice is to start where you are.  You can wish, hope and pray for all of the things that would make your journey easier, better and quicker.  But you don't need them.  The things you need on your journey you will discover during your journey.  The education, the contacts, the continued inspiration ... it's all out there!  But you can't do a time warp.

• You can't go to bed tonight and wake up in the morning with a college degree or specialized training
• You can't go to bed tonight and wake up with ripped abs
• You can't go to bed tonight and wake up with extra zeroes at the end of your checking account balance

That's not how life works.  Again, you can wish, hope and pray but these things won't work without your hard work, your dedication, your focus and your passion.

Your only choice is to create a "map" to get you from where you are right now to where you want to be. If you want to get anywhere with intention, you have to have a plan.  Otherwise, as Yogi Berra said: "If you don't know where you are going, you might end up somewhere else."

Have a great day!

When do you begin?

When should you start?

Today!

If you don't start today, then you won't start until tomorrow ... and tomorrow never comes!

Start small:

• The acorn becomes the mighty oak
• The baby step becomes the journey of life
• A tiny apple seed grows into a tree that produces thousands of pounds of fruit over it's life
• Opening a book becomes a decade of learning
• Opening your eyes to the world around you becomes a lifetime of living

Taking a small step today can become something phenomenal tomorrow.  Don't put it off until tomorrow.  You have to "strike while the iron is hot!"  When an idea comes to you the pursuit of that idea needs to start immediately!

That spark (a.k.a. idea) needs to be turned into a fire and it will need fuel.  The spark can't last too long without out fuel.  Even worse, what if someone else gets that same spark, but does something with it?  Your idea for a new product or service is now someone else's idea!

You might be thinking "but Tubby, I don't know how to ... I'm not ready ... conditions aren't right ..."  Excuses, excuses, excuses.

Your motto needs to be "Aim, Fire, Ready!"  If you wait until you have everything you need to guarantee success, if you wait until your are ready, if you wait until the conditions are right -- you will be waiting a long time!

Have a great day!

Are you like a river?

Have you ever felt as though you were not in control of your thoughts, body, circumstances ... your life?  Do you feel as though you can only head in one direction, as though the course you are taking in life was predetermined for you? Do you sometimes feel like you are a river or a stream?

No doubt you have seen a river or stream in action.  It flows in one direction (downhill).  Many rivers are calm or placid ... perfect for relaxing on a tube on a hot summer day.  Other rivers have points where they move rapidly (hence the word rapids) and are turbulent.  If you are in the river at these points you don't control your actions, you are at the whim of the river.  If you are an experienced rafter, you may be able to manage or cope until you get through the rapids, but for most of us it's "hang on until it's over!"

The river has no choice ... it's going to go where it's going.  It has to stay within it's banks.  It has to continue to flow downhill.  There are points where it can go uphill (briefly), but it is going uphill only to elevate itself to a point where it can resume going downhill again.  And still, on the surface, it will appear to be going downhill.

Yes, over time the river can and does wear down soft parts of it's banks, but it is only to find new ways to go downhill (hopefully you aren't like a river in this sense). In the short  term, the river has no choice, it stays within it's banks and goes downhill.  Unless, suddenly there is a seismic shift - an earthquake!  The land is shifted, the river's course is disrupted, it heads off onto a new path or paths.

Far too many of us wait for this sort of seismic, catastrophic, exterior influence to happen to us.  We are content drifting on a path downhill, never changing direction, never growing ... until we are forced in a new direction by some sort of seismic exterior influence.  Loss of job?  Sudden loss of a family member or close friend?  A diagnosis from your doctor that you will die if you don't make changes today? [Cue Tim McGraw's "Live like you were dying"]

Why must you hit rock bottom before you change?  I'm telling you that you don't!  You are not a river, you are not bound by imaginary banks.  Your life can flow wherever YOU CHOOSE it to flow!  The only boundaries that you have in life are the ones that you believe are there.  How is it someone else can become a doctor, engineer, teacher, astronaut or POTUS.  It's because they made a choice, they set a goal, they believed they could achieve that goal and if someone told them they couldn't they ignored them!

It's one thing to believe you can't do something if it's never been done before (which is still wrong and will be the subject of a future post) ... but when hundreds (maybe thousands) of people change the course of their lives daily, what's your excuse? 

Have a great day!