And the very best advice I've ever received was "Don't ever offer anyone advice unless they asked you for advice!" I can't recall where that advice came from , but wow ... can you imagine having to wait for someone to ask for your opinion or advice before you gave it to them?
Through the years I've found that this goes just about 100% against my nature. I'm not saying that everything that comes out of my mouth is the best idea ever or is guaranteed to work. It's just that I've got a curious mind and I'm always trying to solve ("fix") problems, things or people.
I've heard that (generically speaking) this is a very much a guy problem. It seems women are naturally better at just being there and listening. While I am trying harder, it's not easy to change old habits or your innate nature. What I've finally come to realize though (as people complain about their circumstances to me) is that most just want to complain. They may say that they are just "venting", but I feel that they are actually looking for pity. Pity for them and pity for their circumstances. And when you offer them unsolicited advice ... (gasp!) ... they are sometimes offended! To many, having a possible solution means that they can no longer play the victim. There are some people that just don't like you taking away their victim card.
In any case, for 2016:
- I will try (really, really hard) to be a good listener
- I will focus most of my advice on the guy in the mirror (sharing here for any/all that are interested)
- I will do my best to set healthy boundaries for my children
- I will strive to be a great example for everyone in my life
- And, I will lay in wait, with my ears wide open, listening for the words "I need your advice." Or, "can I get your opinion on something?"
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