FINISH

One of the hardest things that I have had to accept as a father is the fact that my kids don’t listen to me. They hear me just fine … they just choose not to heed my advice. Grudgingly, I’ve come to accept this as a fact of life. Kids just don’t want to listen to their parents.

At first I was angry with them for not accepting my pearls of wisdom and learning from the errors of my ways. Then I became angry with myself for not being a better communicator; one who could break the generation gap and crack through their concrete skulls. But after speaking with several dads in my neighborhood; and at my kids’ activities, it was apparent that my title (‘Dad’) is the cause of my consternation.

There wasn’t a lot of comfort in finding out that it’s a normal occurrence. And to some degree it irritates me even more when, for example, I take my son to a pitching lesson or hitting camp and pay someone else to give him the same instruction that I can, and have, given him. BUT HE LISTENS TO THEM! I guess that is money well spent?

But, as I sit here today, I realize that most of the time I don’t even listen to my own advice! If anybody should listen to me … shouldn’t it be me? I’m a pretty accomplished guy … I’ve got two degrees, nearly twenty years of professional experience, fourteen years under my belt as a dad and seventeen years of marriage. There must be tons of wisdom swimming around in my noggin. So my commitment to myself is that I am going to heed my own advice and it begins today!

My son loves playing sports – basketball, football and baseball. And I spend a lot of time working with Conner on his motions – shooting, throwing and swinging. And the best advice that I have ever given him was to “finish” … which has since been reiterated by several coaches whom I have paid hundreds of dollars to (okay, I am still a litter bitter). Following through or “finishing” is key to success whether you are swinging a bat, throwing a football or launching your next BIG IDEA!

My advice to myself (and to you) is to “FINISH!”

No man is an Island - Dad's advice

This is a re-post of a blog that I had done on 6/16/08 ... some of the best advice a father could ever give his son.

I was thinking yesterday (Father's Day) about all the advice that my Dad ever gave me, or at least what I remember hearing. As I am sure that when I was a teen I wasn't doing too much listening. Anyway, the one piece of sage advice that still sticks with me today was what my Dad said to me the night before I moved to Florida. It was a bold move for me. I was leaving home to go to graduate school about 1,200 miles away ... all by myself. This was a choice that I was making partly just to get out from under the roof that I had lived under for over twenty years. It's been almost 17 years and I am still there. In any case, we were in the driveway of my parent’s house. I was finishing up packing my car with all the essentials ... two or three pairs of clean underwear, 50 posters of super-models & famous actresses and a calculator (I wasn't sure if I'd need it, but it was small and fit in the glove box so no harm in bringing it). Dad was letting the dogs out to stretch their legs before bed time. Coincidentally (?), we finished up at the same time and as we were walking into the house Dad said to me "Warren, no man is an island, remember that." I was stunned. I am not even sure if I responded with anything more than an obligatory "Okay, Dad." BAM! Out of left field, with no conversation leading up to it, Dad dropped on me "no man is an island." Perhaps one of the most profound things he has ever said and something that I had heard before. What I do remember thinking at the time was 'what the heck is this guy talking about and why is he saying it to me.' What I realize now was that he was preparing me for life on my own. Basically, letting me know that I wasn't alone, nor should I try to be alone. Of course, I was a young man who knew everything back then ... I'm sure glad that I've forgotten enough to finally start listening. Though I still struggle with it at times, I realize now that I am not an island, I can't do it all myself and when I try to it doesn't always turn out well. I have my wife, my children, my friends and neighbors ... I am not an island, I am not alone. Life gets easier when I (you?) accept this fact. Thanks Dad, Happy Father's Day!