Take your own advice!

So many times I have found myself offering advice to friends and family ... usually unsolicited.  But the other day I was recanting in my head a conversation with my brother and realized I was being a hypocrite.

On a recent phone conversation with my brother I was providing him with some great tips on how to eat healthier and get more exercise.  He is not the type to open up too much, so I am quite sure that he hadn't asked me for any help.  Being someone who loves him very much though I felt compelled to shower him with my wisdom!

I mean I really love my brother and I want him to live a long healthy life which is why I was recanting the conversation.  All the time wondering "was he listening?", "what could I have said differently that would have resounded in his mind and motivated him to take action?"

Then I realized, I've been trying to get in shape and lose 20 pounds ... FOR FIVE YEARS!   Why am I preaching to my brother, I need to be preaching to the mirror!  Who am I to offer advice?  I barely passed my annual physical and get winded walking up the stairs to the third floor at my office!

I often listen to a recorded lecture by Jim Rohn and remember him saying "some of you are asking 'Mr. Rohn, how is this stuff working for you?' ... well ... listen to me very closely, but don't watch to carefully!"  Mr. Rohn was a great "preacher" of a philosophy on how to live a successful life.  And even Mr. Rohn was having trouble following all of his own advice.

Unsolicited advice is usually hard to hear and even harder to follow!  How many doctors, nurses and fireman do you know that smoke ... don't they know better?  Aren't they always telling people not to smoke? How many police officers and legal gun owners are injured by their own weapons or fireworks each year due to their own lack of judgement or missteps?  Hmm?

Well the good news for my brother is that I will try not to offer him any unsolicited advice anymore (emphasis on "try") and I will start to heed my own advice.  Those twenty pounds are coming off by Christmas 2015!

Hungry?

Do you ever just find yourself feeling hungry ... you're just not sure what for?

Have you ever found yourself at home on the prowl for a treat, a morsel of anything, even a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  You stick your head in your pantry and all you find is a box of cereal that your 'ex' left behind, a can of black beans and some old nachos.  Next, you open every cabinet in your kitchen to realize that all you have are dishes, pots & pans, a box of mac&cheese and a bunch of spices on a shelf.  Not being in the mood for mac&cheese, you ask yourself ... "I wonder if oregano, garlic powder and dried chives would be good together?"  You wisely decide against that combo and move on ...

Ah-ha!  The refrigerator ... there's got to be something good in the refrigerator!  You run to the door, whip it open, packets of Taco Bell sauces fall off the door ("who put them there anyway?").  You are now standing in front of your 'frig' in a 'Superman' pose, chest puffed out,  ready to conquer the goodness that is stored in this fine Kenmore side-by-side.

Alas, there is nothing edible left.  There is a white foam box from your favorite Italian restaurant ... but you don't even open it, you're too scared.  You know you haven't been to that place in over a month and now is no time for a science experiment.  Your eyes land on a large transparent plastic container that holds what might possibly be a joyful and bountiful container of eggnog.  You turn the container to find the handle and realize that the label says "Milk" ... you scour the container for the 'best by' date and loosely interpret it to read:
              "If you value your life put this container down now!"

You've been searching long and hard now for some morsels to satisfy your hunger ... which has only made your hunger stronger, louder, more painful.  In a final act of desperation your hand moves to the vegetable drawer ... yes desperate times, desperate measures, you will settle for a salad!  You grasp the handle and close your eyes, you slide the drawer open and hear something rolling around, could it be ...?

Your eyes open and fall upon a tri-colored spherical object that you assume was once an orange.  Lying next to it is a clear plastic bag filled with something that is a shade of green you've never seen before and what might be more water than you drink in a day.

You are spent.  You've been conquered.  You sit on the floor in front of your still open Kenmore with your head leaning on your bent knees and your hands folded behind your head.  You realize now that the grocery shopping that you had been putting off would have really paid off at this very moment.  Defeated, you get up, close the refrigerator door and grab your car keys.  Your hunger, while not fed yet, has won.  You are now on a mission to feed that hunger.  As you get in your car, you realized an important lesson, you realize that it is best to be prepared for situations like these.


You will be hungry ... sometimes you won't know what for.  When you go to the 'grocery store' of life.  Load up on a variety things.  Try something new.  Take a class in pottery even if you don't like getting your hands dirty.  Go to a Korean BBQ restaurant even if Italian is your favorite, you might end up with two favorites.   Pick up a book on time management even if you don't think you need it. Take a yoga class even if you don't think your are stressed.

Trying new activities, reading new and challenging materials, tasting new cuisines will help you expand every aspect of your life.  You will have a bigger appreciation for all that our world has to offer.  Don't wait until you are hungry to shop around; be prepared, make sure you have choices available to you, passions that you can pursue!

Feed your hunger!

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE THAT MATTERS . . .

There are many, many differences between me, you and everyone else.  For instance:

My eye color is: Hazel     ... your's may be brown or blue,

My weight:  I won't divulge the bulge ... let's just say I am 25 pounds over where I want to be.  And you may be your ideal weight, more or less

My hair color?  First of all you have to have hair, then you can have hair color!  And yours might be red or blonde, short or long.

My skin is tan and white.  I live in Florida, so I've got year round farmer's tan.  And you, you may live in Wisconsin and you might be caucasion, so your skin is likely white.  And if you're not caucasian, you live in Wisconsin ... it's probably some shade of "freezer burn" white.

I am in my 40's and not getting younger.  And you might be in your 20's ... btw, you're not getting younger either!

But there is only one difference that matters and it is not the difference between me and you.  THE ONLY DIFFERENCE THAT MATTERS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 'CURRENT [INSERT YOUR NAME HERE]" AND "FUTURE [INSERT YOUR NAME HERE]".

Ten years from now you will not be the same person.  Just look back ten years and think about how you have changed.  Physically you are likely very different.  If you are 18, you are probably taller now and weigh more than when you were 8.  If you are 60, you are probably shorter now and weigh more than when you were 50.  That's just life..

Mentally you are probably different too.  No matter who you are and how old you are, hopefully you've matured, gained experience, gained knowledge and developed more of a sense of who you are and/or who you want to be.  If you've regressed in this area, that's unfortunate ... but it's not too late to move in a better direction!

Step 1) It's time to assess who you are.  Write down what you like in life, your favorite activities, your passions.  Write down your skills, talents, accomplishments.  And most important ... write down how you feel about who you are today.  Assess your health, wealth, spirituality, friends and connections in your community.

Step 2)  Knowing who you want to be next week, next year and at the end of the next decade of your life is not just next ... it's critical.  Not knowing who you want to be when you grow up (more) is like setting off on a vacation, but not knowing where you are going.  Will it be adventurous?  Maybe.  But it also could be the kind of adventure where you find your car careening off a mountain highway only to find yourself stuck in a ravene with no way out.  So take a few hours and write down who you want to be or what you want to change about yourself by next week, next month, next year, in 5 years and in 10 years.

Is Step 2 a lot of work?  Yes, but not as much work as climbing out of that ravene and trying to put your life back together!

Step 3)  Start.  Yes, it might be Nike it like ... but, just do it.  You don't need a 4 year degree to accomplish most of the things that you want to do or change about yourself.  But you do need to start.  Education and training is Step 5.  Most of the great minds or thinkers of our day are self taught.  They are not 'great' or admired because they went to Harvard or Princeton.  They are 'great' for what they have done or are doing.  So just start, whereever you are at start from there.

Step 4) Develop your plan(s).  Formalize your plan to achieve your goals.  It doesn't have to be a perfect plan.  No plan is perfect.  There are always going to be variables/obstacles that you can't predict that will pop up and derail you.  Put some effort into planning on what you need (experience/training and education) to become who you want to become. 

Step 5) Get educated.  Once you start to follow your plan/passions.  You will realize that there are books, magazines, lectures and seminars that will help you in the pursuit of your goals.  Be aware and be prepared to slow down to get the training, education or ideas that you will need to accomplish your plan.

Step 6) Have checkpoints.  As you work towards your goal make sure that you stop and reflect on your progress.  Many times, especially with bigger, longer term goals you will find that you aren't following the plan that you had originally developed.  THAT'S OK.  Check where you are at, make sure that your goal is still your goal and revise your plan with even more focus and passion towards achieving it.

What if your goals change, let's say you are no longer interested in becoming a Master Underwater Basket Weaver?  That's the great thing about the check points.  If you reach your 1st checkpoint and realize that you don't have the passion or interest that you thought you had ... then now is a good time to cross off that goal and go in search of a different passion.

There are far too many people who graduate from college and realize that the degree they earned in engineering doesn't help them much in getting a job in the field they are really passionate about ... illustrating for children's books.

If you know where you want to be, and when you want to be there ... even if you falter a little bit ... you will be closer to who you want to be and you'll get there sooner than most.