Change your shoes!

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes ... yes, for sure!  It's important to see their perspective and to know why they are doing the things they are doing and making the decisions they are making.  In my business I am reminded of this every single day.  People evolve into who they are and their habits/actions have evolved right along with them.  So yes, walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them or offer them advice.

But ... and it's a BIG BUT ... you can and perhaps should change your shoes.  For the most part you picked them!  Just because you are where you are and you are who you are, doesn't mean that you always have to be that way!  Today you can say "I am {insert career or personality} ... and today you can also choose to say "Tomorrow I will be {insert who you want to become}" by "reading this book  ... attending this class ... connecting with this person ... going to this seminar ..."  If you take a look in the proverbial mirror and don't like who you are then you need to shop for some new shoes!  Walk a mile in some different shoes and become who you want to become!

Here are two examples of life's path for two separate individuals:

Hypothetical example number one (but if I spent ten minutes searching the internet I could probably find ten 'real life' examples):

   A child grows up in poverty, is a minority, struggles with sickness and dyslexia throughout his school years ... yet grows up to be someone very special and influential! How does that happen?

Hypothetical example number two (don't have to research this, it's all around me):
   A child grows up in the majority, with common beliefs, common philosophies, gets average grades, goes to an average college, apparently has average dreams and (go figure) ends up pretty average.  How does that happen?

Someone changed their shoes while they were growing up.  They took off their loafers and put on some hiking boots and started to climb!  It was probably a choice that their friends ridiculed them for.  They were probably told "you'll never make it."  But they no doubt said to themselves "I surely won't make it if I don't try!"

Here's one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite bands that I've been dying to use in one of my blogs and I'm squeezing it in here (I think it's appropriate):
            "She never had dreams ... so they never came true." J. Geils Band from "Angel in Blue"

Have a great day!

Land of a thousand excuses!

I woke up this morning and starting thinking about all of the things that I have yet to accomplish.  I don't recommend you do this ... it can get quite depressing!

Then, in an effort to make me feel less depressed, I started thinking about all of the reasons why I haven't done all of the things that I wanted to do. It wasn't long before I realized that my reasons weren't reasons, they were merely excuses.

An example of a good reason for not being able to start a project or complete a task would be:         

"I was on my way to the post office, minding my own business, focused on getting the check mailed, whistling "Try" by Colbie Caillat when all of a sudden a piano fell from a 6th floor window and incapacitated me for a month.  That's why the check didn't get to the power company."

Nowadays, thanks to electronic bill paying, that's really not a good reason either.

"What are some lame excuses that I thought were reasons?" you ask.  Well I am so glad you asked:

• "I didn't get the leaves raked up because winter came too fast"
• "I wanted to work out, but these other things had to get done and then I was too tired"
• "I was going to start writing, but I didn't have the time ... or the energy ... or the inspiration ... or didn't think it would get published so I never started it."
• "I was about to, but then it was time to watch: Real Housewives, Honey Boo Boo, Survivor, reruns of Seinfeld, something that I DVR'd last month, etc."
• "I didn't know how." <=== the lamest excuse of all, yes it tops the previous bullet point!

The reason that none of the above got done was because you (or I) didn't place enough importance on them!  Was watching a Seinfeld rerun really more important that taking that first step towards your dream? Sometimes there are legitimate reasons why you can't do something at this moment, but if it is truly important to you (meaning your passion for that "it"bubbles through your ears) you will find a way to get it done!
Have a great day!

What happens in a vacuum.

I was listening to a book on tape (CD) the other day that was discussing calmness, peaceful attitudes and the laws of nature (a.k.a. Karma).  The book was "The Majesty of Calmness" written by William George Jordan.  His book was first published around 1900 and I in my opinion is even more relevant today.  There is so much coming at us and from all directions these days that it is easy for one to become distracted ... if not misguided.

Today's society no longer seems to place any degree of value on privacy.  We are posting our entire lives online for everyone to see and we crave a bigger and bigger audience each day.  Have you ever posted something that you just thought was adorable, but you got mad when you only had 37 likes and 2 comments?  "The nerve of that Mary Catherine ... I liked and commented on the picture of her golden doodle eating her famous bundt cake off the kitchen table ... and she couldn't even like the video of my little Sniffles chasing the laser light!  I might need to unfriend her!"

Everything from this morning's breakfast to their kids sleeping to who they are hating on.  By the way, your breakfast looks great, your kids are adorable and I'm sure you don't hate me ... but I'm curious who that "mean" person was?

In any case, as I was driving and absorbing Mr. Jordan's wisdom I began thinking about things that I say and do, things that I see and hear and things that others are saying, doing and POSTING for everyone in the world to see and/or hear.  And I realize that life doesn't happen in a vacuum!  Please think twice, maybe three times before you post the "hater" message.  Proof read your text messages and emails.  Read them out loud to yourself.  Have a trusted and respected friend review it before you click send or post.  Spelling and grammar should be easy for the app or software to check for you ... but I haven't found the 'meaning' or 'intent' button.  It use to be that if words came out of your mouth ... you couldn't take them back; and if you mailed that letter with your "feelings" to a relative or ex-boyfriend ... you couldn't get it back.  Now it's the aforementioned and if you: email it; post it; text it; snap chat it; Instagram it; ... you can't get it back.  Mr. Jordan discusses the need for calmness as a self-preservation tool because the law of nature or karma will see to it that the score is evened.

Mr. Jordan tells a story of a ferocious eagle swooping down from the blue sky to attack a heron.  The mighty eagle is sure to be the victor as it is diving with ever increasing speed the helpless heron  However, before the eagle can adjust the heron turns it's pointed and long beak at it's predator and turns the eagle into prey.

If your intent is to "slay" someone one or publicly shame them think twice about what you are posting, what you are saying about the other person (albeit anonymously) and think about what you are saying about your character.  Besides in the land of "I have a thousand friends" ... how many are really your friends and how many "friends" does the other person have?  You might think you are the eagle ... but remember, it doesn't always end well for the eagle.

Life is too short, live happy!

It use to be that if I met someone who seemed perpetually and unnecessarily happy I would dislike them.  They wouldn't have known how I felt, I am pretty sure that I hid my disdain well.  But, I never thought to ask them "hey, why are you so happy and smiling all the time?"

Looking back I would say that I was envious.  I'm sure that I didn't ask the "why" question because I was certain that they were faking it.  Regardless of their response, I was perfectly comfortable with my fleeting moments of happiness that were thrust upon me by some late night show or comedy hour.  There was no need for me to change my disposition! 

Perhaps I was afraid of their answers ... What if being happy all the time was a lot of work?  What if their prescription had been to watch three hours of Seinfeld each day and read the Sunday comics from every national newspaper by noon on Sunday?  Would I have put that kind of effort in?  Or worse, what if their responses were something like "I don't know, it sure beats being sad all the time!"  Or "I'm just happy to be alive!" ICK!

Fast forward many, many years ... and I now realize how easy it is to be happy!  It's not a lot of work, but it does take focus. There aren't long hours at the gym, or late nights at the library reading "Comedy for Dummies".  It's really as simple as choosing.  Yes, being happy is a choice!

There are a lot of bad things in the world (earthquakes, wars, famine, etc); and many people (like the old me) that either wonder why or will purposely try to derail your happiness.  And there are a lot of good things in the world (waterfalls, national parks, puppies, rainbows, etc) and good people (neighbors who help you clean up after a storm).  This is where the focus comes in: focus on the good, be thankful for what you have and try to serve others whenever possible.  Don't watch the news, Jerry Springer or Judge Judy.  Fill your mind with things like rainbows, puppies, waterfalls ... and yes, why not unicorns too?  Life is too short, live happy!

Be careful what you reach for ...

Be careful what you reach for ... it may not be what you really want!

Hypothetically speaking ... I might have woken up late one morning needing to rush to make it to my first meeting of the day.  Deciding that 'time was of the essence', I may have decided to skip the shower, skip the coffee and even skip turning on the lights.  All that would have just slowed me down and besides I could get coffee at the Fivebucks drive-thru on the way to work!

While hastily (and hypothetically) pulling myself together I reached into my cabinet for the mouthwash and what I was certain was AXE body spray, gargled and applied the AXE liberally.  Having no time to put anything away I left everything strewn about the counter as I rushed for the door. 

Miracle of miracles, I made my meeting on time!  It was truly a blessed day!

Later that day I came home, desperately needing a shower and remembering that I had a mess to clean up in the bathroom too.   When I left in the morning I was in such a rush that I hadn't even capped the gargle or spray. How lucky I was that the cat hadn't jumped up on the counter and knocked anything over in my absence.  I proceeded to put the cap on the mouthwash and tuck it in the cabinet, next up was the anit-fungal spray ... WHAT!?  Yes, I had not grabbed the AXE! I had walked around all day with a very liberal amount of anti-fungal spray all over me (hypothetically speaking, of course).

Whether it is a can of AXE or a life long goal.  Make sure that you set your eyes on it, know what you want and try to see it "in the "light of day".  Make sure that it is really the "object of your desire".  Having and attaining the wrong goal will not make you feel successful; it can actually make you feel disappointed, tired and smelly ... but hopefully fungus free.

Have a fantastic day!

I wish I had read this when I was eighteen!

Oh if only I had read this book when I was thirty!  Oh man, what if I had read it when I was twenty-five ... or even eighteen!  Why did I have to wait until I was forty-six years young to read it?  Maybe because it wasn't published yet?  Perhaps because "the student wasn't ready"?  But what an incredible, life changing, goal increasing, potential maximizing book it is!

Hopefully at this point you are saying in your head (not out-loud, people will stare) "Just tell me the name of the darn book Tubby!"  Well, here it is ... "The Compound Effect" by Darren Hardy.  You really do need to read this book.  It is an easy read and the concept is so simple anyone can understand it.  Unfortunately, most people won't put it into practice.  But what other people do or don't do doesn't matter to you ... only what you do matters.

It really is a simple concept and applicable in all parts of your personal and professional life.  You have unlimited choices and imagination ... but you have limited time.  The weird thing is we each have the same day in front of us: 24 hours = 1,440 minutes; and the same year: 365 days = 525,600 minutes!  But what each of us does with this time is vastly different.  Some of us will choose to watch TV ... others will read an educational book (sorry Daniel Steel, Sidney Sheldon, etc.).  Some of us will choose to sit at a bar stool and have another beer ... but others will go for a walk or a run.  I understand that you have to have balance in your life, variety is great ... but consuming only junk food and junk novels will make for a junky life!

So you are thinking "okay, okay Tubby ... but where does the 'compound effect' come in?"  Well, each of your actions builds off the last action, those actions can make you stronger, smarter ... yes EVEN SEXIER! (Maybe).  Here are two analogies to help you understand the compound effect:

1. Bank Account: You put money in (say $1000; which is on loan to the bank); they agree to pay you interest (let's say 12% annually).  At the start of the second month your balance is the total of the original deposit ($1,000) and the interest (12%/12 months X $1000 = $10).  Your balance has grown to $1,010 in just one month!  The bank also agrees to pay you interest on your balance which now includes the interest they just paid to you ... hence "Compound Interest".  Over the course of 12 months (assuming you don't add any more of your own money) your balance becomes: $1,127.  You might have done the math in your head and calculated a balance of $1,120.  But through the magic of the compound effect you end up with more that what you are expecting!  Over forty years, that $1,000 becomes $93,000!
2. In my profession we actual sell time.  And time, unlike money can't be saved and used tomorrow. If you don't sell an available hour today - POOF! IT'S GONE!  Let's say I am trying to sell an eight hour workday for $100 per hour.  If I sell all eight hours the revenue will be $800!  But if I only sell four then my revenue is only $400.  Some people might think 'well you can just sell more tomorrow!'   NO!  I've only got eight hours to sell tomorrow too, but to get even I need to sell twelve!  Over the course of a year I have the ability to sell $200,000 worth of time (2,040 work hours x $800).  But if I don't take my available time seriously and only sell half my time then I will only sell $100,000 per year.  Over a forty year career that is a $4 MILLION DOLLAR mistake!  (Put that extra $100,000 per year into the savings account in the previous example and you have an $80 MILLION MISTAKE!)

As Darren says in his book "there is one thing that 99 percent of 'failures' and 'successes' have in common -- they all hate doing the same things.  The difference is 'successful' people do them anyway."  Please read his book, apply the philosophy to a little corner of your life and see how you can have a positive compound effect on your future!    As Lao Tzu said "the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step"; take that step today, begin your journey!