Putting the toothpaste back in the tube ...

Have you ever squeezed too much toothpaste out of the tube? Have you ever tried to put the extras back in the tube? It's an impossible task and makes quite a mess (trust me). It's even more difficult if you have one of the stand-up/pump style toothpastes. You pump the top to open it ... allowing you to attempt the return of the excess and more comes out! It's like the manufacturers designed the dispensers so that you couldn't put it back.

And, where's the #1 spot (on your body) that you use toothpaste ... right, your mouth! It's a funny thing about your mouth ... it's a lot like a toothpaste tube. Once its contents (words) have come out ... good luck getting them back in.

And this is where the "Tip from Tubby" comes in ... think before you speak. You cannot take your spoken words back. So before your lips release any hurtful, regrettable words ... make sure that they are exactly what your heart and mind have conjured up; know what their potential impact will be on your audience. Once the words have crossed your lips they very well may echo in your audiences minds and hearts for the rest of their lives.

Learn to say no ... nicely

For many of us one of the hardest things in the world is knowing how and when to say "No". I mean on the "Moh's hardness scale" it would be a 9.5. That's smack dab between Corundum (strikingly familiar to conundrum, hmmmm?) and Diamond.

I'm a father of three young children and I live to please others. In fact, I'm learning that most of my pleasure in life has come from making other people happy. But as I've come to find out ... always saying "yes, sure or okay" isn't always in my best interest; or when it comes to children (who haven't fully developed their ability to show good judgement) ... seldom is in it there best interest.

Why must you say "No"? Well, there are many reasons, including:

1. Safety - if little Johnny wants to climb on the roof and pretend he can fly, then "no" is a reasonable answer (this should be an easy one)
2. Health - dessert everyday after dinner, not smart - your kids will try you on, and we all know that this isn't a good idea
3. Time - there isn't enough time in the world to say "yes" to everything that your kids or your boss, or your spouse, or your friends, or your neighbors, or your neighbors friends ... will ask you to do
4. Abuse - being able to say "No" will prevent you from being abused - at work, by other members of the PTA, the Committee, the whatever
   

Awesome, now we know that you have to say "No" on occasion. But how do you say it? Well there are many different ways to say no, and you should always be polite and thoughtful when doing so. Here are a few ways that I've learned (not yet mastered, but working on it):

1. The delaying "No" - Wow, that sounds like a great opportunity that deserves thoughtful consideration ... can I get back to you on that with my decision?
2. Immediate "No" - sometimes this one can be very hurtful, kids can't stand hearing it and will push for an explanation. I had a boss once whose favorite response was "No"; he felt that it was best to say "no" immediately, that the quickness of his decision would reduce suffering and that he could always come back with a "Yes" later. As opposed to saying yes immediately and then trying to say "No" later or "take it back". You just can't was his theory
3. The polite "No" with a reason (good with neighbors/telemarketers): "I'm sorry, but no thank you. That's just not something that I want to/care to/will do right now, because I am saving up for a Unicorn" or whatever
4. The make them choose "No" (effective with bosses who continuously "dump" work on you, never allowing you to come close to catching up) - "I appreciate you coming to me with this project/assignment/report request. It obviously shows that your trust in my abilities/you have confidence in me. Did you want this done before X, Y and/or Z that you assigned to me earlier? If you can help me prioritize these I'll be better able to help us succeed/meet your requests. My boss would either rank the X, Y, and Z for me or (more often than not) say "if you get a chance, that last one is a 'nice to have' not a 'need to have' report."

There are no doubt many more reasons and ways to say "No" ... just know that you need to be able to say it ... for your sanity, so that you can be a better parent, spouse, employee, friend, neighbor. Never saying "No" will likely lead your head to exploding ... and no one will want to clean that mess up (except for the guy/gal that can't say "no").

Watch your Nickles and Dimes

As you probably realize ... some of the best advice you've ever gotten has come from your Dad (or possibly someone else's Dad). One of the things that my Dad shared with me was the following expression:

"Watch your nickels and dimes ...
... and the dollars will take care of themselves."

Not sure where he learned it, or when exactly he shared it with me. I only wish that he had been more forceful with some of his advice. You know ... the slap you in the face or hit you with a 2 x 4 in the head kind of force. I'm sure that I was a teenager, if not younger, when he shared it with me. And after many years of not heeding his advice, recently Carole and I have chosen to pay a lot more attention to our "nickels and dimes". A lot of credit goes to Dave Ramsey and the brain-washing he's been giving me over the past few years; but it was Dad who originally shared it with me ... and now, finally, I am taking advantage of it.

We are now living on a budget and (as Dave would say) telling our money what to do! We are watching the nickels, dimes, dollars, coupons, light switches, A/C settings, etc.! It's quite simple ... but it's not easy! We are trying to break some 'bad' habits and it's taking time. But by the end of this month we will have paid down over $13,000 in debt since we started ... and by the end of the year (fingers crossed) we hope to have her truck paid off.

What's that line from "Death of a Salesman"? "Free and clear [Tubby] ... free and clear."

When to begin?

When do you begin? It turns out there is no time like the present ... even if you are re-beginning (sometimes I make up words).

Taking two years off (or more) wasn't a good idea. Starting was a good step, but I started, made a few posts ... then stopped. Stopping isn't good, unless you do it on purpose. Stopping is like quitting ... or might as well be. I wanted to develop a habit and I did. Except the habit that I was trying to get into was to post with great frequency ... the habit I ended up with was NOT posting with daily frequency. Not even close ... so no cigar.

I need a better strategy ... so I am going to work on it over the next few days ... stay tuned. This time I plan on coming back, I want to come back, I will come back!!