Some of life's toughest battles happen between ...

Some of your life's toughest battles will happen between your own two ears!  Most of us will not join the military, we will not need to go to a foreign land to fight an unknown enemy.  Fortunately, most of us will not get cancer or contract a life threatening disease.  But we will fight many lesser battles, mostly in our minds.  And for some of us, we will fight tens, if not hundreds of these battles each day.

The battle is "Needs versus Wants".  Whether you are battling weight loss, financial problems, character problems, or all three (as well as many other enemies!)  When you step back and look at the battlefield from 30,000 feet ... it will be plain to see that it is a battle of "Need v. Want"

I face these battles every day and, sadly, many times I lose the battle.  Many times want wins over need.  I can predict which battles I will win and which I will lose.  And it is really quite simple ... I lose every battle where my desire or passion that I hold for the "want" exceeds that which I hold for the "need".  I lose every battle where I am not focusing on what is most important to me.  I lose every battle that I take my eyes off of my goals. 

My goals must became my "wants"; "wants" always win over needs. If I really want to accomplish my goals I must change my mantras from "I need to lose weight, I need to lower my cholesterol, I need to exercise, I need to pay off debt, ..." to "I WANT TO ..."

I have been losing the "battle of the bulge" because I want a beer after a hard day at work.  I justify it by saying to myself that "It's just one ... and besides it's a light beer, it's like drinking water!"   I know that it's a bad idea and goes against one of my most important goals, but I do it anyway because it's what I wanted at that moment ... I lost focus on what I really want, which is to lose weight and become healthier.  Salad and yogurt for lunch (two steps forward) and a beer and two much pasta for dinner (three steps back).  I need to want to lose weight more than I want the beer ... it's that simple.  Want will always win over need!

Another goal that is extremely important to me is becoming debt free.  Once this goal is achieved I would like to be able to drive the family up to Nashville so that the family and I can scream "We're debt free!" on the air with Dave Ramsey!  But the problem is ... I also want to enjoy things that other people around me are enjoying - NBA basketball games, MLB Spring Training, nice cars, nice clothes and fancy dinners out.  I want my children to have everything they want for Christmas and their birthdays, I want them to be able to do all the activities that they want (competitive cheer, dance, baseball lessons, etc).  In order for me to succeed with money and teach my children the need to delay gratification - I need to want to delay gratification myself.  I must want to be be debt free more than wanting all these things now.  I must want to wait for the nice things in life. 

I could go on with many other examples of how my wants or desires for things today are putting off my long term goals, but I won't.  The good news is, that while I (and you) may lose a lot of the battles ... I/you can still win the war!  "Fight the good fight!"  It will take time, but I (and you) can do it if we want it bad enough!

Paraphrasing Zig Ziglar, "I didn't put on 40 pounds too many overnight, I did it one spoonful at a time, I will have to lose the weight the same way in order to keep it off."   So, when you are trying to reverse the effects of negative habits ... don't expect them to be corrected overnight.  Maintain focus on what you really want, be patient and give it the time that it deserves!

Victim ... no more!

It is now 2013 ... and I have but one resolution.

I WILL NO LONGER BE A VICTIM!  By this, I mean that I will no longer be a VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE.  In 2013, I will not set the cruise control on my ride to my destiny.  I will be active in deciding the direction that I am heading and the magnitude at which I head towards my destiny.

There are many types of victims in this world.  You can be a victim of a: crime; failing school system; decaying neighborhood; solar radiation, etc.  Some things will just happen to you.  You just can't control everything.

However, your destiny does not have to be one of those things that "just happens".  If you are like me, you don't want to be sitting in a rocking chair some day when you are retired and wonder how you got there.  Or for that matter, why would you want to wake up 5 years from now and not know how and why you arrived where you are at?  Which would likely be at the same job, with the same pay, performing the same rote tasks.

I hope that you will join me in 2013 in choosing your direction and actively participating in arriving at where you want to be in 5, 10 or 20 years.

The first step will be acknowledging that you do have influence, if not full control, over your future and what you, as a person, become.  Regardless of what you might hear on the radio, read in the paper or see on T.V. - the government, your neighbors, your school teachers, your mommy & daddy are not the ones who are in charge of you ... unless you choose to let them.  So take charge of yourself, commit to yourself that you will shape your own future.  If you are going to be a victim of anything ... be a victim of your own decisions.  Whether you choose well or not, because it was your decision you will learn from your experience and make better decisions in the future.  Just don't be a victim of indecision, lack of control, lack of desire ... don't be a victim of circumstance!

Merry New Year!