FINISH

One of the hardest things that I have had to accept as a father is the fact that my kids don’t listen to me. They hear me just fine … they just choose not to heed my advice. Grudgingly, I’ve come to accept this as a fact of life. Kids just don’t want to listen to their parents.

At first I was angry with them for not accepting my pearls of wisdom and learning from the errors of my ways. Then I became angry with myself for not being a better communicator; one who could break the generation gap and crack through their concrete skulls. But after speaking with several dads in my neighborhood; and at my kids’ activities, it was apparent that my title (‘Dad’) is the cause of my consternation.

There wasn’t a lot of comfort in finding out that it’s a normal occurrence. And to some degree it irritates me even more when, for example, I take my son to a pitching lesson or hitting camp and pay someone else to give him the same instruction that I can, and have, given him. BUT HE LISTENS TO THEM! I guess that is money well spent?

But, as I sit here today, I realize that most of the time I don’t even listen to my own advice! If anybody should listen to me … shouldn’t it be me? I’m a pretty accomplished guy … I’ve got two degrees, nearly twenty years of professional experience, fourteen years under my belt as a dad and seventeen years of marriage. There must be tons of wisdom swimming around in my noggin. So my commitment to myself is that I am going to heed my own advice and it begins today!

My son loves playing sports – basketball, football and baseball. And I spend a lot of time working with Conner on his motions – shooting, throwing and swinging. And the best advice that I have ever given him was to “finish” … which has since been reiterated by several coaches whom I have paid hundreds of dollars to (okay, I am still a litter bitter). Following through or “finishing” is key to success whether you are swinging a bat, throwing a football or launching your next BIG IDEA!

My advice to myself (and to you) is to “FINISH!”

Wake-Up Call

I don't remember the exact day, in fact it actually happened over two days, but I do know that it was in July of 2011 when I received my wake-up call. The wake-up call came from my regional manager, shortly after I had been told that I was not selected to back-fill my boss (who had transferred to a different position within the company). And it came in the form of two face to face meetings.

The background: I had been told that I was the "preferred candidate" for the position I thought that I wanted. Being with the company for over thirteen years, history had taught me that the "preferred candidate" was the person selected ninety-nine out of one hundred times. My regional manager said that it would be tough and that there were other candidates; so “it’s not a done deal yet, but you are my preferred candidate.”

As it turned out, the company decided to go with someone with “more experience”. I assumed more experience meant five more years with the company, several different management positions in different divisions, etc. In this case “more experience” means two more years with the company, no MBA, no experience in our division and only one previous management job (supervising one person).

I was not just bitter, quite frankly, I was mad as hell. So I met with my regional manager to discuss what had happened and why. We met for about half an hour and he highlighted the merits of the selected person – his enthusiasm and his “experience.” I, of course, defended my position – eight different positions in the company over thirteen years, five years of retail experience in the same industry, MBA, etc. The regional manager finally told me “Warren, I didn’t have a choice, this was Detroit’s decision. And besides, {our company} doesn’t promote within the same region and have you supervise your previous peers; it just doesn’t happen” For a split second it made me feel better, but it faded quickly because I figured out who was back-filling my new boss in his old position. It was his direct report. Ah, so the company does allow you to back-fill your supervisor, it just depends on which region you work in and who you know.

In a separate meeting with my regional manager, as we were discussing some of our franchisees and how some of them had tremendous entrepreneurial spirit and others didn’t. The regional manager actually said, and I paraphrase, “he’s like guys like us, who are happy and secure collecting a good paycheck and putting in their twenty-five or thirty years, you do a good job and live a good life. That's how our company breeds them.”

WOW! It didn’t hit me at first. But wow! I kept hitting the snooze button for a few months after this meeting, but now I realized that my regional manager thought (or at least was projecting his feelings on me) that I was not entrepreneurial, not creative, not willing to take a risk … not going anywhere?

If I have given him the impression that I don’t want more, that I don’t want to grow, that I don’t want to prosper … then shame on me. If I’ve allowed this to be how my life has played out … then shame on me.

I will not settle for this ... stay tuned!